My endangered femininity

If I say that there is nothing in this world which makes me regret my gender it will be a lie. There is one time which comes very often in my life when I hate being a woman. Even though I am a proud feminist I do not believe in bra burning or armpit hair growing feminism. I highly appreciate the value of feminine delicacy.

As a young woman I have realized that the biggest barrier in my way of achieving feminine charm are my hair. I have an extraordinary growth of hair on my skin (Yes and I never talk about it because of the shame I feel in it).

When I was a kid I thought this feature of my body will never be a problem for me because I had four older sisters and I regularly saw them rigorously waxing their bodies. I thought maybe that is what all grown-up women do and soon I will be accustomed to it. Unfortunately, I never did.

My sister made up a story about this not so feminine part of our body and for a long time I believed in it. She told me that as we are people living in a desert having a thick layer of hair on our body protects us from sun (Now I am not sure if there is any truth in it).

Therefore, I thought being a hairy woman was not strange until I started my university and created a social life for myself. Most girls were flawless. No hair and actually no care.

It took me sometime to realize the ugliness of dark hair on my skin but when I did it was horrible. I remember wearing a choker in my neck and I had my hair made into a messy bun and I was confidently walking through the aisle of a famous brand in Pakistan when my younger sister comes to me. She said “Please don’t stand there. All the yellow light on the ceiling is highlighting hair on the back of your neck even more”. I stopped making hair buns after that. I felt so tortured by the thought that while I was showing-off my thin and long neck most people just noticed the hair on it.

Then I started to notice other girls in my class who had hairless necks and backs and wore hair buns proudly. My face shape looks lovely in high pony tail but I have stopped doing them because I have been told that it draws more attention to hair on my face. So whenever I have to go out I blow-dry my hair (the ones who are on my head) and let them fall on my face to cover hair on unusual parts of my body.

The most reasonable explanation that I have come up by now is that I and my sisters are a product of a genetic mutation. My parents wanted a male child so badly that it mutated genes of their female children and added some male attributes to them.

Unwanted hair do not only lower your self-esteem but also create a financial crisis in your life.

What do you guys think waxing my body is cheap?

My hair are so dark and dense that when I try to get rid of them it costs me a fortune and a long time. Last night I said to my sister that if I saved all the money I have spent on hair removal I would have been a millionaire by now.

I am a kind of a person who believes in falling in love but I have come to the conclusion that this will never happen in my life. Even if a boy looks at me the first thing he will notice is hair on my upper-lips and when he holds my hand he will feel the soft layer of hair on my hands.

Hence today I have written about the biggest insecurity I have about myself.

Please don’t suggest laser to me because if I try to do it I will go bankrupt.

-littlemisssunshine