Hey, I am back.

I have been cheating on my life for a little more than a month now. I bunked my classes, ignored every email that came in reference to my blog and did not contact any of my usual acquaintances.

I just left.

I travelled with my younger sister to Malaysia to visit my mum (who now lives there) and had the first proper vacation of my life. I took a long vacation, I must confess. But it was a necessary one. There are many facets of this trip which I will discuss one by one.

I have never been in a relationship so I don’t know how it feels to cheat on your partner. Now I know that cheating on your classes, usual diet and life feels amazing.

Since I came back from U.S back in 2015 everything in my life turned upside down. I entered a zone of bad grades, existential crisis, anxiety, failure and boredom.

All my life I have lived in a small town. My class fellows from my elementary school are still my class fellows. Sitting in front of my laptop screen and desperately thinking about something interested to write I realized that my whole life has been mapped out for me. It is going to be so mediocre. And mediocrity does not excite me (Having said that, I believe understanding of mediocrity differs from person to person).

In past few months, numerous times I thought of or wished for jumping from a cliff. It wasn’t because I wanted to die but I desperately missed the rush of adrenaline in my body. I was tired of being anxious worried and so dependable on people around me. I was completely losing my balance.

Fortunately, my dad agreed to sponsor my trip and I got scholarship for an international conference by HARVARD happening in Kaula Lampur. Destiny played a major role in all of this.

Most people go on trips like this every year but for a person like me it is a big deal. Because the world I live in is a very different one.

Maybe, the reason why I wasn’t blogging was because I was experiencing so many things and I want to lap my experiences around me and absorb them. Later on, write about them with a light heart.

I am trying to read all of your blogs. It will take me some time to catch up but I feel more energetic than ever.




13 Comments Add yours

  1. Just_Me :) says:

    Nice to read something from you again. Have a great day! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isabelle says:

    Beautifully written, littlemisssunshine! Such a flow throughout the post. I think I understand the profound importance of this journey in your life. I have some similar experiences. Sending my best wishes 🌷

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Isabelle! It is so nice to hear from you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Isabelle says:

        The same. Lovely to hear from you. You always write honestly and soulfully, your writing is brilliant!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You just made my day.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. 🙂 Welcome back!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sophia Ismaa says:

    Really well penned. I understand how you must have been feeling. A holiday is a much needed reprieve & yeah, it’s a luxury to some of us to even go on a holiday after years.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So glad to hear you’ve had room to breathe and found your inspiration again. I’ve definitely been there when you fall into a downward spiral that just affects everything. But it takes courage to get back up again. Hope you continue to be encouraged and find inspiration and joy in the little things now that you’re back 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts!


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