Hey, I am back.

I have been cheating on my life for a little more than a month now. I bunked my classes, ignored every email that came in reference to my blog and did not contact any of my usual acquaintances.

I just left.

I travelled with my younger sister to Malaysia to visit my mum (who now lives there) and had the first proper vacation of my life. I took a long vacation, I must confess. But it was a necessary one. There are many facets of this trip which I will discuss one by one.

I have never been in a relationship so I don’t know how it feels to cheat on your partner. Now I know that cheating on your classes, usual diet and life feels amazing.

Since I came back from U.S back in 2015 everything in my life turned upside down. I entered a zone of bad grades, existential crisis, anxiety, failure and boredom.

All my life I have lived in a small town. My class fellows from my elementary school are still my class fellows. Sitting in front of my laptop screen and desperately thinking about something interested to write I realized that my whole life has been mapped out for me. It is going to be so mediocre. And mediocrity does not excite me (Having said that, I believe understanding of mediocrity differs from person to person).

In past few months, numerous times I thought of or wished for jumping from a cliff. It wasn’t because I wanted to die but I desperately missed the rush of adrenaline in my body. I was tired of being anxious worried and so dependable on people around me. I was completely losing my balance.

Fortunately, my dad agreed to sponsor my trip and I got scholarship for an international conference by HARVARD happening in Kaula Lampur. Destiny played a major role in all of this.

Most people go on trips like this every year but for a person like me it is a big deal. Because the world I live in is a very different one.

Maybe, the reason why I wasn’t blogging was because I was experiencing so many things and I want to lap my experiences around me and absorb them. Later on, write about them with a light heart.

I am trying to read all of your blogs. It will take me some time to catch up but I feel more energetic than ever.

-littlemisssunshine