My endangered femininity

If I say that there is nothing in this world which makes me regret my gender it will be a lie. There is one time which comes very often in my life when I hate being a woman. Even though I am a proud feminist I do not believe in bra burning or armpit hair growing feminism. I highly appreciate the value of feminine delicacy.

As a young woman I have realized that the biggest barrier in my way of achieving feminine charm are my hair. I have an extraordinary growth of hair on my skin (Yes and I never talk about it because of the shame I feel in it).

When I was a kid I thought this feature of my body will never be a problem for me because I had four older sisters and I regularly saw them rigorously waxing their bodies. I thought maybe that is what all grown-up women do and soon I will be accustomed to it. Unfortunately, I never did.

My sister made up a story about this not so feminine part of our body and for a long time I believed in it. She told me that as we are people living in a desert having a thick layer of hair on our body protects us from sun (Now I am not sure if there is any truth in it).

Therefore, I thought being a hairy woman was not strange until I started my university and created a social life for myself. Most girls were flawless. No hair and actually no care.

It took me sometime to realize the ugliness of dark hair on my skin but when I did it was horrible. I remember wearing a choker in my neck and I had my hair made into a messy bun and I was confidently walking through the aisle of a famous brand in Pakistan when my younger sister comes to me. She said “Please don’t stand there. All the yellow light on the ceiling is highlighting hair on the back of your neck even more”. I stopped making hair buns after that. I felt so tortured by the thought that while I was showing-off my thin and long neck most people just noticed the hair on it.

Then I started to notice other girls in my class who had hairless necks and backs and wore hair buns proudly. My face shape looks lovely in high pony tail but I have stopped doing them because I have been told that it draws more attention to hair on my face. So whenever I have to go out I blow-dry my hair (the ones who are on my head) and let them fall on my face to cover hair on unusual parts of my body.

The most reasonable explanation that I have come up by now is that I and my sisters are a product of a genetic mutation. My parents wanted a male child so badly that it mutated genes of their female children and added some male attributes to them.

Unwanted hair do not only lower your self-esteem but also create a financial crisis in your life.

What do you guys think waxing my body is cheap?

My hair are so dark and dense that when I try to get rid of them it costs me a fortune and a long time. Last night I said to my sister that if I saved all the money I have spent on hair removal I would have been a millionaire by now.

I am a kind of a person who believes in falling in love but I have come to the conclusion that this will never happen in my life. Even if a boy looks at me the first thing he will notice is hair on my upper-lips and when he holds my hand he will feel the soft layer of hair on my hands.

Hence today I have written about the biggest insecurity I have about myself.

Please don’t suggest laser to me because if I try to do it I will go bankrupt.


23 Comments Add yours

  1. tshawwriter says:

    I’m not into armpit hair growing either, but I would be if it ensured people were comfortable and happy in their own skin. It sucks that you can’t wear your hair the way you want to. Maybe just by writing this blog post, you’ll feel more empowered and encouraged that unwanted body hair doesn’t define how attractive you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t wish that more people thought like you. I just wish that I perceived things the way you do. Before changing anyone’s mindset I want to change mine.
      I wrote this post so that I could encourage more young people to write about their insecurities rather than keeping it to themselves. And when they say it loud the world will not judge them for their insecurities.
      Thanks Tshaw for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. tshawwriter says:

        I have plenty of my own fears and insecurities, but I do think I’m an anomaly in that I never struggled too much with my body image. I remember going into the dressing room with my mom as a little girl, and I’d watch her pick apart her body and all the supposed defects. My mom is beautiful, but she just struggled to see it at the time. I never wanted to do that to myself. I consider myself pretty average when I compare myself to other women, but life is a miracle and I’m thankful for what I’ve been given. You are already brave and beautiful for what you’ve said here today, and I have no doubts you’ll grow in this area and that you’ll inspire others to do the same.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Your words have brought a huge smile on my face. I feel accepted and hopeful now.
        There was a research that one out of every five women feels that she is not beautiful. So a lot of us are struggling against the same thing.
        All my life I have been taught that insecurities are a bad thing. So I kept on denying the fact that I had any. Insecurities are natural and fighting them is what growing up is about.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Orvillewrong says:

    The right person will love you for who you are and see past your defects!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You always have such nice things to say. I don’t even know how to thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Andrea says:

    I’m sad to read your story.
    I used have very dark features and bit of facial hair. People teased me and thought it was funny. It wasn’t!
    Somehow it has dissapeared for me. Maybe the Dutch and Danish climate did that.

    I google “homemade remedies hair removal”:

    I’m a strong believe in nature’s power and I hope this can help!
    I have been using cocunut oil to stimulate hairgrowth and it helped a lot!

    Ps. Don’t give up on love. I thought I’d never find someone due to my mental illness struggles. But there are good guys out there!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for your help! By the way both of these links are working.


    1. It is so thoughtful of you Andrea. I can surely try to use some of these remedies.
      Thank you for sharing your story with me. I am so happy that you grew out of your fears and found love in life. Women like you inspire me. I hope to be more like you.


  4. Just_Me :) says:

    I do have cat-like hair on my arms, legs and back but never really cared too much about it. When I came here in Kuwait, people, specially men seem to have a big deal about it, that women shouldn’t have hair here and there, blah blah! Their words never affected me in any way. If other people’s body hair affect them, then that’s their problem. 😉 I’m happy the way I am. 🙂 But no to armpit hair growing, of course! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right. We should not allow anyone to judge us based on our appearance.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sophia Ismaa says:

    Girl, you’re gorgeous and have a lovely smile! Most of us Asians have dark and dense hair, I have so much dark hair on my arms but I don’t care about shaving them, I literally go to weddings with bare arms and I just can’t bring myself to feel shameful about it. You can love me as I am or leave. It is what it is, you are worthy of love, no doubt and so brave to even simply talk about this topic. It takes a lot of guts, proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
      You refreshed my belief in the quote “beauty lies in the eyes of beholder”. Because you only noticed my smile, not my irregularly shaped teeth.
      That is the spirit girl. When I receive such a kind response from people like you it gives me courage to come out and talk about y insecurities.
      Lots of love and hugs from this side.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. neelstoria says:

    Though I don’t have much hair on my body but I have tonnes of then on my neck, which makes me conscious with a bun. So you have company there. But I still do wear a bun anyway. And, don’t give too much thought to all the hair, just take them off. I am sure there are some home made solutions available though you must have googled them already. Also, let me tell you I used to be very insecure about my height at 4.11 and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. It does not matter anymore to me, so surely you will reach that stage too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope that in future I also do not allow any of my insecurities to control any aspect of my life.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. 🌏Life_Beyond_Imagination📝 says:

    It seems you know yourself as much as the mirror reveals (Others eyes)…You are using the eyes of others like a mirror…You have looked in so many mirrors, and each one has given you a different message that’s why you feel urself down…but be noted Mirrors have no message about you, their message is about themselves…The reflection in the mirror is not of you. The reflection is the mirror’s nature…

    and if you really want to know yourself you will have to stop looking for your image in the eyes of others…

    So don’t be worried about all this, you are a beautiful and unique creation in this nature, accept yourself and be happy always… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. aymenashraf says:

    I think this is something most of us Asians suffer from. All us sisters had the same problem. My youngest sister was so conscious of her side burns covering almost her cheeks, she would hardly ever tie her hair in the fear that they would become too prominent. I remember sitting her down and making her understand how this does not matter as much as her personality does. Ill tell you the same dear friend. Our insecurities always get the better of us. You will learn to shake it off after a while because there is so much more to you that you can gain strength from 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I feel a lot more comfortable with my hair since I have written about it.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Laci says:

    I’m late to the game here but know that the right person will love you for you, hair and all. Your hair makes you, you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are not at all late. This comment has brought a big smile on my face.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Laci says:

        You are welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

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